Integrity

Integrity Definition:

1.the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness.”he is known to be a man of integrity”
synonyms: honesty, probity, rectitude, honor, good character, principle(s), ethics, morals, righteousness, morality, virtue, decency, fairness, scrupulousness, sincerity, truthfulness, trustworthiness
antonyms: dishonesty
2.the state of being whole and undivided.
“upholding territorial integrity and national sovereignty”
synonyms: unity, unification, coherence, cohesion, togetherness, solidarity
“the integrity of the federation”
3.the condition of being unified, unimpaired, or sound in construction.
“the structural integrity of the novel”
synonyms: soundness, strength, sturdiness, solidity, durability, stability, stoutness, toughness
“the structural integrity of the aircraft”

~No where in there does it say you must have a college degree to possess integrity…remember this.~

 

We all come from somewhere, obviously, but where I don’t think really has much relevance to what makes you …you. I mean yes it does play a factor BUT each and every one of us holds the power to change our circumstances, either to benefit or even hurt us. While paths are laid out, the individual themselves has the ability to turn left or right and depending on the attitude held, makes a big impact on the outcomes in our lives.

Read my entries, I’m not ashamed with my past behavior. I was young, naive, pissed off, bitter, panicked, scared…to say it in the least of terms…and at the time I made decisions based upon those emotions, which while dumb I look back and it was understandable. Until you spend a night alone in your car trying to figure out where your next shower is coming from (which I truly don’t wish upon ANYONE) then I could see why it would be difficult to comprehend, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t able to see the reasonings behind the behavior. I made a decision years ago to clean up my life and promise to myself to never end up without basic humane necessities and with those words engraved into my heart, I also vowed to remember the day I chose to make a change.

With my story has come an opportunity to motivate others. In reality I take it as a compliment and while I’m not rich nor famous, I’m wealthy in spirit and recognized for my values. I live on an old school mentality, treat others the way you want to be treated. It’s not a stupid concept nor a notion that should be forgotten about during the current days of fast paced, selfish and technology based thinking.  I don’t have many nice things, no fancy jewelry or clothes but I have a wealth of knowledge and a fortune in manners. I hold people in the same regard, whether a CEO or a cleaning woman to the same degree, as a person not that of what you possess or have been given. Opportunity for physical prosperity isn’t always granted but openings for integrity are constantly available to any rank of society.

To get to the point of this blog, I felt it necessary to make it a pungent point that the word integrity doesn’t correlate with what you have in life but who you are. I know wealthy people who would give the shirt off of their backs to others, while some could care less about having moral principles because to them money can buy your way through people BUT possessing a trustworthy and moral character isn’t able to be bought or earned through a piece of paper. I feel it necessary to drill in these points because there seems to be quite the number of instances in my life that people treat me poorly due to my “lack of degree” and/or my background.

I sat in a meeting the other day with a very wealthy man. A business owner and broker, a man with many awards and accomplishments, I felt excited to sit down with someone I could learn from. Within the first few minutes of the conversation and seeing his disposition, my excitement changed to disillusionment, finding him to be rather obnoxious in the execution of his ideas. When he asked me what was my background and why I had been deemed as “motivational”, while risky, I told him the truth…that I had seen some very dark places in my life, came from the streets and rebellion based alcohol binges to the healthy in mind and body individual that I am today. I saw it, the sheen in his eyes turning to black as he then insulted my valor by mumbling, “well with the chances of you going back to that being high because so many people end up back on the streets, there’s not much point in having you be a part of my business nor do you deserve the roll requested.”

I’ll let you have that sink in for a moment and if you know me personally, it will probably take a few more minutes to believe that I didn’t go ape shit on him for insulting me…integrity.

Now this man doesn’t know me from a can of paint. I introduced myself with a handshake and a direct look to his eyes. I said “sir” and made sure to be respectfully listening to him , even if I felt he was pompous. Is it his right to think that way, absolutely. Those are his feelings and you CAN NOT argue or not allow someone to have their own attitude towards a certain subject…that being said, he doesn’t know me from a can of paint. I sit up straight, I shake hands, I’m cordial and respectful…if I hadn’t mutter that I lived in my car, I guarantee with the way I presented myself he never would have known I was homeless at one point in my life. After he found out that I drank and where I came from, his perception of me changed…I was no longer the girl able to run his business from an accounting or clerical role like I had showed him prior…no, I was the poor and potentially detrimental soul sitting across from him under the roof he purchased. My role that I had been executing or the valiant debate I had presented about deserving more pay for the work I was and could be doing for him wasn’t valiant now due to my background, NOT MY CURRENT SITUATION. So while I presented integrity with how I’ve been to work on time, made efforts for his business outside of what my pay scale brings or the fact that I hadn’t hid anything from him when he did ask a question, shows my character. To top it off, when I said I hadn’t had the means to finish schooling, there wasn’t even an opportunity to prove my merit of knowledge in my profession. Funny how I can balance your business books, write out detailed diet plans or even teach you fundamentals in proper social cues but because there isn’t a piece of paper to justify those properties, I am without valor in the meeting at hand.

I walked out of that room completely disgusted but I had to try to see his point of view…understanding why people do what they do or seeing a different point of view will help me in the future if a situation like this ever presents itself. I’m not condoning his behavior at all but God puts us in certain situations for a reason, I truly belive this and my faith is very close to my heart. I left work shortly after, aggravated but ready to hit the gym and on the drive home I realized the value in this experience. See I have learned to digest events as a point of learning as I’ve matured, taking people’s reactions or certain life episodes as a point of relevance in my time here on earth. So as I drove home I saw his face, heard the whisper of insult leave his dry mouth, remembered his neck crack and legs cross with attitude when he made his point come across and while remembering a smile came to my face because while he held many respectable honors, he himself had little integrity by the way he presented his character. Before our meeting started, he was interruptive during my address to him, answered the phone during our conversation and put his finger up to halt me and even gave me the once over with a smirk after I told him I couldn’t afford to go to the clinic to get my cold taken care of (in my defense he asked why I didn’t go to the doctor…he seems to put himself in these situations with the questions he asks)

Am I insulted? Highly. Do I understand his disgust? To a degree. Does it make it right? No. But if a person has never experienced what I have, its hard to comprehend that I’m not actually a scumbag nor am I going to regress back to that which he stated after. I simply said in return, “I don’t appreciate you saying that nor would it ever happen.” because anything more than that would be giving his statement to much unneeded affirmation. By NOT acting out, I’m proving to him that I, the woman who you now think lowly of, is not the animal you so kindly referenced. Does he deserve the abilities I can present to his business? nope nor will I make the effort in doing so anymore. I will do what I’m told but anything “above my pay grade” will be told so.

I’m not telling this story to talk shit…let’s get this straight. I’m just not that kind of person because when it comes to work, word of mouth is the best form of reference and you never burn bridges. I’m making this a point to think about the next time a situation is presented to you from either spectrum. Having integrity isn’t based on your origin but it can be learned no matter where you are at in life or where you come from. Having manners, speaking respectful, showing character in moral soundness can be cultivated so it’s not unobtainable just because it wasn’t taught. My gram instilled these values in me so even though I’ve had a rough past, I was brought up to show respect to all colors, races, sizes, shapes, ages, backgrounds, social ranking, and sexes.

Whether you are on the giving or receiving end next time I want you to think of this, control is showing respect for yourself. You may judge someone by what they have been through or in return may show judgement to someone who has so much BUT the key is that to show integrity in all situations is the way to prevail and what is appropriate for your own morals. I may never have the chance to go back to college, but a piece of paper (while it may help me out financially) doesn’t say who I am as a person.

Being a titan wasn’t given to me, it was earned.